Writing for Past, Present and Future

I appreciate the comments left after a blogpost. It’s feedback on how an article was received by a reader, which can be eye opening. I also enjoy answering questions. On my last post, Conflicting Viewpoints, a reader commented, “This all feels so traumatic to read. Do you ever get PTSD just writing this?”

My answer is a definite no. I find writing is therapeutic and I recommend it for everyone. Your style and story may be completely different than mine, but I believe no matter what you’re going through it can help you see things more clearly. There is an insightful power in writing down words which describe how you feel or what you want to accomplish. It assists in sorting out as well as improving the understanding of your feelings. Most of all it helps me to recognize my blessings as I objectively look at what has or is happening.

As soon as my collarbone had healed and my right arm was free from the sling, I started writing and keeping record of Mark’s progress. They were baby steps—small, wobbly with frequent falls, but through my writing records I could see the progress. At the time, writing it down helped me stay focused on the positive. I’m glad I have it now to look back on because it makes me realize just how far Mark has come and what a miracle his life and recovery truly are. I don’t want to forget where we’ve been because that would lessen the value of where we are.

Writing is a good way to plan for the future. When you want to accomplish something, writing it down is a first step in achieving it. After you write the goal, it becomes visible and clear, no longer just something you think about. Writing the plan will help you prioritize the order of steps needed to make your goal a reality. A person who is trying to lose weight will benefit if they record their weight and the food they eat. By writing it down, one becomes more aware of what they are putting into their mouth. No more mindless eating. Writing provides tangible evidence and can show you why you are or are not making progress. You guessed it—I’m a list maker for everything, from household chores to my work schedule, even writing down my exercise plan and accomplishments encourages me. I also believe there is a benefit in writing a meal plan, but I haven’t worked on that yet. That is my next goal.

Almost twenty-four years have passed since our car accident. When I look back, I rejoice in how far we’ve come. I’m in awe at how all the pieces came together to get us to the point we are now. Our trials and grief may come from different sources, but we all have them. My experience with writing about them improves our understanding and facilitates getting through them. I hope my writing encourages others, because if I can endure, I know they can. I don’t want to forget where we’ve been because when I’m discouraged about life, I can look back at what I’ve written and realize we’ve made it this far and that gives me courage to keep going.

Have you tried writing your story or a goal and steps to accomplish it? What impact did it have on you?

My Angel Mother

Abraham Lincoln said it perfectly and I couldn’t agree more about my own mother. Her example and unconditional love has brought me to where I am today, and I definitely know that everything I am or ever will be I owe to her. May is the month we honor our mothers and today just happens to be my mother’s birthday. She is also the world’s best caregiver so it’s triple fitting that I write about her today.

I’ve always known my mother loved me, but since the car accident it has become even more evident. She has been by my side nearly every day since then.

When I was eighteen I was anxious to be independent and to experience life as an adult so I moved out to be on my own. I was going to the community college, which was no reason for leaving home. I knew it broke my mother’s heart, but she loved and supported my endeavors even though she didn’t agree with them. They knew I would have been better off financially if I stayed home a few more years. We talked on the phone often and had Sunday dinner together nearly every week until I was married. I will be forever grateful to them for not giving up and for loving me even though I know I disappointed them.

My mother knows and understands me better than I do myself sometimes. When the car accident happened she knew just what I needed and gave me the love and support that carried me through some very hard days. I remember she even had to help me in the bathroom until my broken collarbone (in two places) healed enough that I could manage by myself with one hand. My mother would do anything for her children no matter their age. As I get older, I realize she would still do anything for her children no matter her age.

Since our car was totaled in the car accident and I was unable to drive with a broken collarbone, my mother drove me 120 miles every weekday so I could be with Mark during the day and our children at night while Mark was at McKay Dee Hospital in Ogden, UT . Weekends she took care our kids, Christopher and Katie so I could stay overnight at the hospital with Mark.

When Mark was transferred to Western Rehab in Sandy, which was located not far from my parent’s home, my mother was able and made it a priority to visit nearly every day. She was either watching the kids or visiting at the hospital. Because of her daily visits and Mark’s mother living out of state, many doctors, nurses and therapist thought she was Mark’s mother and was often called her Mrs. Wilson. My mother loves all her in-law children and treats them as her own. She calls each one a bonus child.

In 1996, five years after our car accident, we built a home together which is wheelchair accessible for Mark, so for the past eighteen years we have lived together. It’s brought some challenges with health issues, raising two teenagers and differences in how things should be done, but it’s been a great blessing for both Mark and I and we hope it’s been for them too. I can’t imagine how we would’ve gotten along without them.

My mother is a great example to me and some of my favorite traits about her are that she is:

Insightful – aware of others needs

 

Loving – unconditionally to all

Obedient – to God’s commandments

Virtuous – honorable and trustworthy

Educated – always seeking to learn new things

 

Youthful – care in her beautiful appearance

Organized – everything is always in its place

Unique – to me, for she is the best mom ever

 

And I’m so lucky that she’s mine! My world is a better place because of her.